Hi there everyone!
Well, we switched over web hosts and for some reason, all the blog posts on the previous server got hosed. I don’t understand it because it’s still a live site. But I took it as a sign to begin again, fresh.
It’s been an interesting week for me. Two weeks ago, my son experienced a slight fever and headache and stayed home from school for 2 days. About a week later, my daughter had the same experience and about a day or so after she was in the middle of her resting, I had the same experience! This was absolutely startling to me because since transitioning to live food in 2001, I stopped getting sick! I used to get sick every month which was one of the many reasons I was ready to make a change in my diet/lifestyle. So for years, I have only felt abundantly healthy. I did experience some detoxing symptoms in the beginning - a lot of candida die off in particular, but on the whole have been very very healthy for the past 7 years.
So this past week it was amazing to feel a slight fever and a wicked headache and feel totally tired. All I did for an entire day was lay down and sleep. I must say there are some pluses to not feeling well: first being doted on is quite nice! Also there is a lot of wonderful releasing and introspection that occurs (or can occur if we let it) when we are under the weather. For me, it’s like nothing else mattered but just resting. And there were very few people I wanted around me and very few things I truly cared about. It’s almost like a meditative practice of being in the present moment. I cried a little bit because I just felt pretty lousy and that felt nice. I do believe that release toxins in our tears and so I welcomed each time I felt tears welling up as a way to release what didn’t need to be inside. (Better out than in!)
The next day I felt much better in my body although this super pounding in my head occurred. I drank teas and had broths and just let myself rest. I made myself some juices with ginger, celery, 1 small beet, 1 apple, 1/2 lemon and a few carrots (mainly because this is what I had) and drank that. The ginger was wonderful - VERY warming for the body. It felt restorative. I got up to make this and then I went back to lay down. It was great not to multi-task and it was great to have this grateful feeling for being unwell. I hope you understand that for the most part, I do feel very grateful for every part of my life. If at first I don’t feel happy about a situation or circumstance, I try to then ask “what can I learn from this?” and that *really* helps me to switch my state of mind. If that doesn’t work, I’ll practice using what I’ve learned from reading Byron Katie’s work.
By the end of the day, I was feeling MUCH much better. Got my sassy attitude back which is always a sign that I’m feeling back to normal! hahaha I had planned a trip a few weeks ago to head down to NJ a little early. A lot of my dearest friends live in NJ and most of my family lives there as well so I’m one of a few people that really loves NJ. (I think it took me to move away from it for a while to really appreciate it. NJ CRACKS me up to be honest.) Anyway, I planned to take the train down from VT and as I was feeling much better so I still had every intention to make the trip.
Just before bed, I was getting that feeling like I wasn’t feeling quite 100% again and yet I went to bed all packed and ready to go. I had a not so great night of sleep. I tossed and turned and woke up at 5 am. I started doing what has been typical and habitual for me throughout my life: I was convincing myself that everything was fine and that even though I wasn’t feeling 100% better, I could rest in the train and on and on. All seemingly positive stuff, right? So what was the problem! “Just quit your whining and go back to bed so you can get up, see the kids off and get on the train so you can have some fun, dammit!”
So I did the Byron Katie thing by making a statement: “I want to go to NJ tomorrow.” Then asked the question: “Is that true?” My answer: “Yes! I want to see my friends and my family and have some time to myself for a few days before my own family joins me for thanksgiving… And then again, No, I want to rest up so I can feel 100% better and do nothing and not be ‘on’ and not have to worry about traveling & what to eat & how I’ll get around without my own transportation…” So then came anther question: “How do you feel with this story that ‘I want to go to NJ tomorrow.” My answer: “A bit restless and not at all peaceful.” So I realized there was a conflict here! So then the next question: “How would I feel without the thought of I want to go to NJ tomorrow?” My answer was: “I’d feel relieved.”
WOW! I had no idea! What a turnaround!
This is what it means, to me, to really be gentle with ourselves and our lives. There was so much self-talk that was telling me that I’m going to have so much fun and all the kinks and unknowns would all work out and I’d get rest, etc. etc. And you know? I honestly believe that that would be the truth. Everything always does work out for the best and I would have found rides to the healthy food store for my juices and salad fixin’s and I would have found rides to friends’ houses, etc. I totally would have had a blast, I’m sure. But there was this inner voice that said, “I want to stay home,” and I totally wasn’t even letting that voice come in. Being positive or optimistic also means that it’s ok to listen to the reality of one’s body or mental/emotional state in that moment.
And you know what? While it’s true that a very small part of me (the ego part, I realize) felt bummed to have these plans changed, I didn’t honestly feel an ounce of guilt or shame about it. I honestly felt relieved and these have been like bonus days for me. Nothing on the calendar purposely because I wasn’t supposed to be here so everything became bonuses:
- My friend called and asked if I would join her on her errands so we had fun and laughter as we went into town and back.
- I got my box of Sea Chi items that I LOVE and plan to sell in my cafe/store so I was overjoyed to have my facial creme back (I was out of it for almost a week! YIKES!)
- I stopped by the school at *precisely* the time of a meeting I had forgotten about and heard about all the fun stuff that will be happening for art and dance in the school the rest of this year.
- I got to ask about having my son tested so we can all have a clearer picture on how he learns so the teachers can help him learn things better. (I’ve been saying for ever that he thinks 3-dimensionally and I’ve wanted for years for him to be tested so that he can see that his difference means something cool for him…)
- And when I got home, I saw that my daughter was looking a bit under the weather again. She tends to have lungs similar to my husband and when she gets sick, it quite easily goes to her lungs. So I gave her a few homeopathic remedies and things to help her rest without coughing and again, I wouldn’t have been able to do that if I wasn’t there.
So moral of the story: it’s good to be gentle with oneself in every way imaginable! I’d say it’s even more important that giving oneself a positive pep talk!
The other moral of the story: it’s absolutely possible that when conditions are right and germies are around, a live food dude can also get sick! This is what happened to me and so there you go! I just read recently how raw food is considered the panacea for everything - the heal all, be all, end all, etc. The author was saying that he/she felt that they were finally understanding that this wasn’t the case necessarily. And well, to that I have to say, “*DUH!*” Of course live food is NOT the heal all, be all, end all of everything! That’s just silliness. There are many ways to the truth. Life on this earth shows us that endlessly and in many ways.
For me, live food has shown me a way to be healthy and get healthy quickly. It has shown me a path to really find ME. To be gentle and loving to me and in doing so, I’m more able to spread that around in my life and in my work. It’s a catalyst but it’s not the ONLY thing to get me there and it’s not the only way to live. It’s been so great for me to learn to heal and be gentle WITH food because for so long food was just a way to stuff down emotions. It makes sense for me that this was the catalyst and I’m able to utilize all my little tips and tricks that I’ve been learning in my life thus far. I LOVE being able to see how spiritual links with physical life, how emotional life links with spiritual & physical, etc and so forth. It’s a beautiful life, a work of art and it’s still a work in progress…
OK, that’s enough for my first blog post after my old blog got hosed. Thank you for reading. Please feel free to post a comment if the mood strikes you.
Take care and much love,