I’m still committed to my daily meditations. This morning I woke up and was tired. Lately it seems, I get an adequate amount of sleep every other night. What is a girl to do? Maybe I could start taking valerian but I honestly just think I’ve got a lot on my plate. This morning I woke up early after not a lot of sleep and once again my mind went into a tailspin of worries. I remember the first thought this morning being, “Oh right, I have to deal with all this shit again today.” It’s getting boring to notice the continual dialogues that I run in my head. I sit in meditation to get my mind connected with my body. I also did some stretches this morning and I nearly slept on the floor.
Lately, what has been working is this picture that I hold in my head. I imagine that all people around me are full of empathy and compassion towards me, themselves and one another. I imagine that my problems find solutions that are better than I could even imagine. I imagine that I have something really grand to look forward to and that I have good friends here where I live that want to be with me just because of who I am and not because of how I might be able to help them or provide for them. This helps me to stop the endless mind chatter of worry that my brain likes to engage itself in.
I also like to start and end the day in gratitude. This helps to keep a feeling of thanksgiving present with me throughout the day. These days have been rough, no doubt about it. Life is full to over-flowing and stress is present. I am doing the best self-care that I can provide for myself amidst a busy life with dogs and kids and homeschool. If I could somehow get 7-8 hours of sleep consistently each night, I would feel more able to function through the daily stressors. The gratitude helps me to remember that there’s always something really to be thankful for amidst the chaos.
Right now I’m grateful for an easier week of school assignments. I’m grateful for the walk today in the beautiful weather. I’m grateful for a fun day of homeschooling with the kids. I’m grateful to have gotten some homework assignments handed in. I’m grateful for good friends in NJ who are keeping me on track and keeping me in check. I’m grateful for the plethora of healing peeps here in VT who help me to stay healthy.
I’m going to take my tired body and ride the bike for a little bit. This will help to tucker me out so that I (hopefully) get a great night’s sleep.
Here’s to meditation, visualization and gratitude,