I’m still sitting each morning. I am not sitting every evening but some evenings. Need to work on that. I see the value of this commitment to sit with the intention to meditate because it is creating a lot more mindfulness in my daily life. I am not exactly sure what that is, because I have been practicing mindfulness for years, but it seems to accelerate the process or make it more pronounced and apparent or something.
This morning I noticed, still, just HOW many thoughts and distractions I get swept away by. I really have made a big habit of day dreaming. I noticed the cars going by and was grateful for that because it makes for a good reminder that I got swept away again. I also notice how much I am in auto pilot with my body. I noticed that I’m scratching my head or “wow, I just moved my legs into an entirely different position!” I am really not here at all sometimes even while sitting with the intention of being here!!
I used to think that meditation was to get into a certain frame of mind, meaning outside of the body. Like a blissful state.
I’m realizing now that it’s about experience what is happening in and around me right here, right now and just being aware of it, not attaching to it. That is an entirely different sensation. I’m grateful for these guidebooks to help give me a kind of “operating instructional manual” to see what it is that I’m seeking to achieve here. I’ve read these kinds of things so many times, why haven’t I gotten this before?
I have been sitting with the question, “Who am I?” and my first response came as a thought, “I am a complex organism with a presence.” And then I shifted it to “I am a presence or spirit that is residing in a complex organism.” What do you think? Who are you?