ho'oponopono prayer, or good medicine for healing relationships
don't ask me how to properly pronounce it - I think I've got it but you never know. I think it's pronounced: "ho-pono-pono" with the emphasis on the first syllable. But honestly, check it out on other sites for definitions and more proper pronunciations. When I want to spell it, I have to look it up because I tend to want to write it a little longer like "honoponopono" and I don't ever seem to remember the right place to put the single quotation mark. I learned it a year or two ago as something to do when in conflict with a relationship in my life. I've been reciting it a lot as the last 2-3 years have shown me just how much conflict I have in my heart with some of my relationships. I was told to just recite this prayer aloud and often and the way that I learned was not exactly how it is mentioned on other sites. There's a slight modification and I love the modification because it makes loads of sense to me. (Plus it's very similar to cooking for me as I never use a recipe just as it's written, I like to use what is given as a guideline and change it up a bit.) :-) Here's how I learned it.
Hold yourself and that person that you are having conflict with in your mind with good attention and focus, whether it be your partner, your neighbor, your co-worker, your family member, etc. Think of them as you say the following:
I love you, __________ (state their name)
I'm sorry I hurt you, ___________ (state their name)
I forgive you, __________ (state their name); Please forgive me, too.
I thank you, _________ (state their name)
The wonderful being that taught me this said basically to just keep doing this for at least a week and at least 1-3 times a day (but really whenever I felt some tight feeling about them in my solar plexus) and that it will help to melt away the ego we surround ourselves with (and carry grudges with) and it will just change things energetically in the relationship: sometimes subtly, sometimes we won't know about it for a long long time if at all and still sometimes there will be such a big shift. So I did it and I still do it whenever I have something that doesn't feel right in my body with a relationship or a conflict with someone.
I think he is right, (the man that taught me this.) He said he's not entirely sure of all the hows and whys but that it is so simple and profound and it works amazingly well. So, I did it for everything and everyone that I ever felt hurt by or that I felt sad or shameful about my own part in how a relationship went wrong. It started to become a little game because I was picking out random memories on occasion of something from so long ago and stating this prayer over myself and that person.
What I noticed first and foremost was that I just felt better in my body when I had the thought or image of whatever person I was holding space for. I felt like if that's all this does, then it really is the best thing ever. Then I had one or two of the people I was praying like this over actually come out of the woodwork to re-engage in a relationship and with kindness and sorrow and wanting to put the past behind us. I really was floored. I didn't talk to anyone about this, nor did I try to talk to these people either (mostly because I really thought these relationships were over or I was no longer holding onto the possibility of what their outcome might be.) When these things happened, I thought, "Wow! This is really amazing!" and then I was deeply grateful. It really does seem to make great shifts in the body, in the consciousness and maybe even in the energy that you put out into the world.
There's many prayers like this, that are simple and that seem to help clear the air in your own body and then carry on to the greater space we live in. I'll write about another one soon that I love, once I remember how to spell it! :-)